does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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