If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
