Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
