Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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