I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize