I need help removing her.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize