We're facebook friends in real life
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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