3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
