Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize