Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
