I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
