PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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