I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
