she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
