I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
