Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
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this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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