thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
