I got chris browned last night
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
