She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize