Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
