the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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