Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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