New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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