ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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