Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
