remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize