All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
