My hand turned me down
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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