It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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