garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize