I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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