yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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