We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
4 words: hood of his car
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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