I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
