I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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