no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
