I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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