all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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