Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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