Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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