I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
