The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
