did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize