after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
