Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can Purell be used as lube?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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