Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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