AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
