I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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