Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
