I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize