i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
sarcasm needs its own font
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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