no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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