The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
