Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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