he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
