omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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