You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
