drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize