me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
