he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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