and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
