I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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