News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
